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Sex Toys Good for Marriage, says Experts
Commitment, trust, communication skills—and a good sex toy.
So sums the elements of a happy marriage, marriage counselors are saying. It’s quite a turn around from the way people thought merely decades ago, when sex toys were generally thought to be sleazy and a little desperate, used by losers who couldn’t get a date with an actual human being. “Can’t get a relationship, get your kicks out of a vibrator—but only because nobody else will have you.”
Now, sex toys are being bought and used by happy couples who may be having good sex, but want great sex. After several years of being together, they’ve felt the passion wane. They love each other, but making love has become automatic. It’s the beginning of the end of the relationship, say marriage experts, because couples need that sense of romance so they won’t drift apart.
That’s why many of them have started prescribing sex toys, citing how the adventures in the bedroom can help couples rediscover the magic that first brought them together in the first place.
They do caution that great sex can’t save a marriage that has deep fundamental problems. You can buy the entire catalogue of a sex toy website, install mirrors on your bedroom ceiling, and mate like rabbits every free hour of the day, but if you don’t respect each other, it’s still going to end up in divorce. (However, the goodbye kiss will be definitely more interesting.)
What sex toys can do is to help an otherwise good relationship survive the plateau that most couples hit after several years of being together. Many divorces are actually a case of individuals falling out of love. They look at each other across the breakfast table, and realize that they share almost everything except attraction. They start looking for their fun elsewhere, and this explodes into other issues. Sex toys curb the problem before it becomes too big for couples to fix.
Marriage counselors say that it’s important for couples to choose a sex toy that they’re comfortable with. No sex toy is intrinsically degrading—even bondage is based on a sense of trust, not in a desire to embarrass or hurt the partner. But the moment someone feels that they’re forced to use a sex toy, it loses its purpose. Sex is supposed to be fun.
Marriage counselors believe that if nothing else, sex toys can teach couples to listen more to what the other wants and needs.
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