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Say “I Love You” with a Sex Toy: Do’s and Don’ts of Gift Giving

Yes, communication is important, and it doesn’t hurt to take out the trash without being nagged. But if you want to put the sizzle back into your relationship, you can start by shopping for a really good sex toy.

Ah, we can see you smiling already: clearly, this kind of marriage advice sounds infinitely more appealing than the “touchy feely” stuff espoused by Dr. Phil. (Or at least, it’s a different kind of touchy feely). But let’s approach this with a little sensitivity. Some sex toys make excellent gifts that say “I love you and want you and I hope we can have fun together.” Others scream “lust lust lust” and will make you look like a self-absorbed prick who can’t think of anything but sex.

First of all, pick something that will increase her pleasure, not yours. This is not about you. Or you want her to think it’s not about you. The message you want to send is that the real gift isn’t the toy but the hours of ecstasy that will follow—where you, her sex slave, will do everything you can to make her absolutely happy. Trust us, this is even better than giving flowers. Between a dozen roses and a dozen orgasms, guess which one wins.

Good gift: You want a product that makes her feel special and cherished. Massage oils are a good start, and they often come in kits with rose petals, feather ticklers, spinner games and blindfolds. (You know what else we love about kits? They come in boxes. No wrapping. Save your finger dexterity for other things.)

Bad gift: A PVC Leather Suit does not make a good romantic gift. While it’s an excellent product, especially when accessorized with whips and chains, most women will wear it for their partner’s pleasure. You get to see her strut in your bedroom, you have the privilege of taking it off. Besides, what will you write on the card? “Hit me, baby”?

Good gift: Lingerie works, too, but only if it’s delicate and feminine, and makes her feel like a goddess when she wears it. We like satin and silk, because they’re unbelievably comfortable and are rather forgiving of curves. No woman likes to think that she’s fat. She has to look gorgeous in it, or you will spend the rest of the evening assuring her that she does not need to go on a diet.

Bad gift: Nothing that makes her feel inadequate. Giving a woman breast extenders are as bad as giving her diet pills.

Good gift: You can also get her lubricants, or specialty condoms that are ribbed for her pleasure or generally show that you want her to enjoy it as much (if not more) than you do.








 



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