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The Dildo Checklist

With so many different types of dildos out there, it can be hard to figure out which one to buy. Flesh colored or glow in the dark lime green? What material? What size? What texture? One option is to buy several (like shoes, you can never have enough) but if you must narrow down your choices, here are some questions you can ask.

Sizing up your options

While many people tend to worry about the length, remember that it doesn’t really matter since you can choose how much penetration you want. The thing to watch out for is thickness. What feels good, and what feels painful? Grab this opportunity to choose the “Perfect Penis”, something you can’t do while checking out the guys in the singles bar.

But if you don’t know what kind of thickness you’d enjoy, experiment with vegetables. Carrots, cucumbers and zucchinis are good initial substitutes. Wash them well, and use a condom to prevent any possible infection from bacteria or viruses. (This is one case when Mom was right: vegetables are good for you.) Once you’ve found the perfect one, halve it and then measure the circumference.

Feeling your way

There are several kinds of dildo materials. The ones that feel smooth but firm to the touch include silicone, acrylic, and pyrex glass. A lot of people love how low maintenance they are; they’re pretty easy to disinfect, and can be used with many kinds of lubricants. But you won’t get much flexibility from them, and let’s face it, even when a guy’s hard, he won’t get that hard. Not that realistic, and takes a while getting used to, but still pleasurable.

Cyberskin dildos, on the other hand (sorry, bad pun) are amazingly realistic. They feel as good as a real guy, but are always ready when you need them and won’t dump you for your best friend. They do need special cleaning devices, though, and some women find it a bit eerie that they’re too real.

Jelly dildos are flexible but come in rainbow colors—and you won’t find a bright orange penis anywhere on this planet, so they’re a good choice for those who find detached lifelike penises a bit too Loreta Bobbit.

“Look” around

Which brings us to another point: appearance. Some prefer those that look like actual penises, others want the shape but would rather keep it a fun and funky color. Some feel good but resemble miniature sculptures, nothing on earth like a penis—which makes it less embarrassing when you accidentally leave one on the bedside table.








 



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